The first of many...

Dearest Baby Girl,

So, it has been just over a week. Everything still feels surreal to me. I feel like I am just waiting for you to come over, like you are on some sort of vacation and I just haven't heard from you in a little bit. I feel like its going to get harder as time goes on and I don't get a text or call. One minute I will be watching some television show and then you will just pop into my head, and all I can think about is your face and your beautiful smile. Everything I do reminds me of you. I love you so much. And I miss you. I couldn't say goodbye... just... see ya later. Because that is the only thing in this world I have to hope for now. Is that at some point I will see you again. You will be happy to know my managers are being nice to me [for now] heh. Oh and I need to get my license by the end of summer so I need you to root me on okay. Give me strength, because I am pretty afraid right now. I just read Shafer's blog. It was so beautiful. And made so much sense, especially about the breathing, because honestly I feel like thats so hard to do right now. I'm sorry I couldn't go all the way in during the service. It was just really hard. I felt like I was suffocating, or drowning. Idk. But I hope you liked my dress <3. I miss Auntie. I will probably be going over Tuesday after work. Hopefully its okay. I have the weirdest appetite right now too. One minute everything on Earth sounds GROSS, then the next minute I eat an entire bag of popcorn [no joke...]. Kah-Nee-Tah will be really difficult. I'll make sure to play "Why Can't I" on the way there...and I will tell Aly the entire story of why it was so funny. I told Sawah the other night, she got a good kick out of it. Well... I hate to go, but I should probably shower, I think I am taking my brothers to see Terminator tonight. Sweetie I love you so much, and words can't express how much I miss you. I would give anything to get a text from you again. But you are always in my heart. However broken it may be at this point. You will always be my baby girl. God is lucky to have you. I love you forever and for always.

"And I can't breathe...without you, but I have to breathe...without you."

--Sammimantha